The 2 people who made the most impact in my life. The people whom i call wapa and uma. What do i remember about my father? For most of my life, he was a stern sometimes unapproachable father figure. But he was generous to a fault. I remember the time one of his ex-workers came to the house to ask for some money. We only had RM 10 in the house and my father told my mother to give it to him. My mother, being the dutiful wife, just gave it to him. After giving the last RM 10 ringgit in the house, we now were penniless. But one thing we were never short on was love. My father never told anyone of us that he loved us but we felt it and we felt it strongly. Does the sun need to say it is warm? I think the word "love" is sometimes overestimated. He just called my mother "hoi" and sometimes, "kathija" which is a far cry from the words of endearment, like darling and sayang etc that we are used to seeing in movies. Love is built brick by brick on the foundations of sacrifice, of giving selflessly, on qualities of patience, and determination. How do i know this? My father and mother ate dinner only after the children had eaten. They ate the left-overs. My father was very particular that we, the children, should eat properly. He didn't need to tell me that he loved me. I saw it everyday of my life when i ate food.

Now what about my mother? While my father was the brains in the family, my mother was the heart. She was the fighter. She was barely 5 foot 1. What she lacked in height she made up in fighting spirit. She married my father when she was barely 16 years old. She left India and came to then Malaya to marry a man she hardly knew and who was about 20 years her senior. My father was then about 35 years old. While i learnt from my father the habit of thinking through things, from my mother i learnt about working hard and not giving up even when the odds are stacked against you. I miss them.

Roots - the Marikar connection - 1

Yesterday i received the updated geneology of my maternal side of the family. The geneology is hosted at the following url: http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~lkawgw/gen251.html


We come from a family group called the Marikars who have moorish ancestry. Our particular line comes from Ceylon and Morocco. Here's an excerpt of our family history describing my great-grandfather, TCH Marikar (my grandmother, Safar Marikar was the youngest child of TCH Marikar).
TCH Marikar
Herewith a short sketch of our esteemed, illustrious and colourful grandfather. Adventurous and romantic, perhaps, would describe him better.

He was born in Kandy, Ceylon in 1852. He belonged to an aristocratic family of ancestral landlords. In a family of eight, he was the second son of Thambi Cannu Marikar. He took his initials from his father’s name and was known as T.C.H.Marikar.
TCH's First Wife
He was a sportsman and an athlete, his favourite game being football. Once while he was playing, the ball went into the school ground next door. It was when he went to pick it up that he met his future wife who was a teacher there. * She was a padre’s daughter. They got married with much opposition from the powerful Marikars and the Christian community. Her married name was Ayesha. She was said to be of attractive features, gentle, soft-spoken and very intelligent. She was well versed in the Bible and in the Quran. She bore him six children.

Trade and the spirit of adventure brought appa (T.C.H.) to India. With his business acumen, he successfully built up his trade between India and Ceylon. He came to South India and established himself in the then States of Travancore and Cochin (Kerala) and parts of Madras Presidency (Tamil Nadu). Travelling between India and Ceylon could not have been easy sailing in the eighties. He owned 26 dhows and did regular trips. In Travancore, he was attracted to Mundakayam and Peermadu. Perhaps, it was the scenic beauty and climate of these places and their similarity to Ceylon that attracted him.
TCH's Second Wife
He started his business in Kottayam where he had a supermarket of sorts. He used to go to the mosque on horseback and that is when he fell in love with the Syrian Christian lady, who was renowned for her beauty and specially her long & flowing tresses. She used to watch him from the threshold of her house. One day, he carried her away on his horse. This lady, Kunjamma, was already married and had a child too, but nothing prevented the progress and fulfillment of their great romance. They married to the utter dismay, anger and embarrassment of the Syrian Christian, ‘Chowkaparambil family’, to which she belonged. Kunjamma’s married name became Mariambi. They stayed in Kottayam for some time and later settled down in Rich Grove estate in Mundakkayam.